Single Chinese Male

My oh my how time flies when you are no longer subject to the whims of the public transport system.

It's been nearly a month since I last updated but I would point to the paucity of interesting news as the culprit for this. The uniform and bland nature of my personal life doesn't make for good reading either, however something of note did happen recently.

I've been feeling very angsty lately, partly because of a Moment of Perfect Clarity i experienced last week. It happened while I was trolling the comments page on one of those insipid online forums.

It suddenly struck me that every single one of the posters was a Single Male, aged between 25 and 35, stuck in a dead end job without a car. And although i hesitate to mention this, i'm sure they all rely heavily on pixellated porn. I could sense that from the misogynistic nature of their comments. Especially the ones about not being able to get a girlfriend because Singaporean women are all high maintenance bitches who prefer Caucasian men with big dicks and even bigger wallets.

Thanks to this realisation, I'm now consumed by the fear that i'll end up like them one day. Forever stuck in a low level sales or admin job, desperately searching for some MLM scheme to level up, signing up for SDU activities to leech off the free food and meet girls, all the while blaming the EVIL GAHMEN for sucking away my income to feed the CPF Board.

I'll probably resort to wearing pilfered RJC t-shirts in a pathetic attempt at asserting my place in the social hierachy, just like that sad 30 something year old i once saw at a gym who was still trying to fit into a too small 20 year old RI shirt. Oh come on who are you fooling, if you were really a successful Rafflesian would you be at a $2.50 per entry public gym?

On a more serious note, it's sad that what is ostensibly a Republic would have one of the most ingrained class ethos in the world. That incident at the gym really did happen. There was a Straits Times article a few years back about how HDB dwellers who worked in the CBD would remove the HDB parking decals from their cars every morning before driving to work. And who can forget all the Toyota Harrier owners who tried to zhng their rides and pass them off as Lexus RX-es.

Sometimes people tell me i'm too flippant and irreverent, that i should conform more if i want to be taken seriously. Well, all i can say is, when you hold a mirror up to society and see what a joke it really is, being a Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

P.S. Extra credit if you can get the film reference in the last line.